Life is more than the Cubicle

While researching the appropriate attire to wear to a "hipster" party on Saturday night (I know...theme parties!), I came across this website which outlines the steps to becoming a hipster and now I'm afraid I might actually be one...

Be a Hipster

Steps to be a hipster:
1. Decide what it is about being a hipster that appeals to you - it doesn't, I do like indie because I think we should support everyone who decides to strike out on their own and do their own thing. I like literature. Philosophy gives me a headache. I'm not sure I like the fashion of skinny jeans probably because I'm a marshmallow and I like my hair to be neat. However, I do like the idea of sitting around all day in a cafe doing nothing but hanging out on my computer.

2. Be in the right age group - "Hipsters tend to be in their teens through to their 30s, today's "extended adolescent" era consisting of existential angst, searching for purpose and inner worth, and asking the meaning of everything." - check for the age group, not so much for the existential angst and extended adolescence, kinda a bit so WAY over that...

3. Be where the hipsters roam - um, that doesn't exist in sunnyvale

4. Be educated - check. Educated in liberal arts, graphics, art or fashion? No

5. Be an early adopter - Never going to find me first in line camping all night for the latest iPhone. I have the 2nd generation white Kindle, a 3GS and a 4 year old Macbook Pro.

6. Make what's old new again - sure, I'm down for supporting local. But I hate when people start calling everything "vintage", half of the time it's disgusting and I'm sorry, it's not vintage, it's old and needs to be thrown away

7. Get your reading matter and viewing sorted - have you read a hipster blog? They're pretty funny but I don't have the time to keep up with even more reading material

8. Hone your humor - "A hipster is known for their strong sense of irony and sarcasm. When asked a question, refuse to answer directly; instead, obfuscate, ask a question in return, or just be plain sarcastic. Be sure to layer on the smirk to indicate your lack of seriousness, because it's possible for the other person to mistake your sarcasm for sincerity." Ehhh, depends on my mood I guess

9. Listen to newly emerging, independent music - nu-rave, minimalist techno, nerdcore, punk rock? I don't even know what 3 out of 4 of those genres are

10. Fashion - This one's iffy, I do wear american apparal and urban outfitters, H&M and ASOS but I don't consider the last two as hipster fashion. Ixnay on the skinny jeans as said before. I don't wear ironic eyewear like oversized plastic frame glasses. Hm, I do have t-shirts with animals and in plaid and some fitted hoodies and TOMs. Maybe this one I'll give myself half a check for scraping the surface on the fashion

11. Grooming - I have a hairbrush and I know how to use it

12. Lingo and attitude - Don't think I care enough to name drop, insult bands and seem more educated and elitist

13. Start growing your own food and turn vegetarian - I only want to do this because I look like a marshmallow

14. Start dancing - " Hipster dancing, if done right, does not use so much of the hips as it does the upper body and arms. Lots of swinging your head back and forth but only do this if you're not humiliated easily". Is this like the scarecrow in the wizard of oz?

15. Date other hipsters - nope

16. Be aware that hipsterism is frequently parodied or derided because hipsters bug people - I think this is the point of the hipster party

17. Don't define yourself to others (denial) - that just sounds painful

18. Know what's going on at all times within the hipster community - (yawn)

Looks like I'm safe according to the steps but I still own Apple products, I don't watch MTV, I make my own coffee because my stove top espresso maker is the bomb. I want more tattoos and I do my own hair because really, who doesn't do their own hair?! If you have your own stylist, I would love to be your best friend :)


Guess I'm not ironic enough to be a hipster,
Janine